she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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