WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
