a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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