my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
