What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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