I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
