I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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