My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
