Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
