He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize