Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
