3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
