ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
