he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
