i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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