why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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