I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
