Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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