You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
