How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
