i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
