I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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