Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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