You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
