My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
