i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
