Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
