everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
my being single is dangerous.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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