my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
