just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
