I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Are we still banned from the library?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
