Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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