You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
