Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
