Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
