If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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