I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize