Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
