planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
