your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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