He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize