I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
