Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The feeling are messing with the penis
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
