Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize