why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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