k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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