I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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