I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
