Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
