Buhtt sex?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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