I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
