Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
