Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
