But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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