love makes seman taste better
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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