So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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