I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
