Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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