Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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