Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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