Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize