Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
