State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Sext me about skeletons
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize