No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
