Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
