im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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